I Did Not Choose

I do not choose to write, 

any more than I chose 

my own name. 

It exudes like the sun 

gives it's warmth, 

steadily and without any 

thought of self-preservation. 

I do not choose to sing, 

any more than I chose 

the curl of my hair. 

It boils out of me, 

like an impatient geyser 

too long confined 

in the dark earth.

I did not choose to love you, 

any more than I set 

the depth of the ocean. 

But it is there, 

dark and unfathomable, 

obedient to nothing 

but the call of the midnight moon. 

Alchemy

In the dark days that followed, 

we wrote our memoirs in code, 

deciphered only by spilled innocence 

and broken promises.

So we gave each other the mundane: 

a cooling cup of too pale coffee, 

grocery lists on the back of old receipts, 

and we taught ourselves the alchemy 

that turned leaden hearts into gold.

Appreciation

Until I feared I'd lose you, 

I loved you incomplete. 

One does not love breathing, 

or the toes upon their feet.

But now, my darling sweetheart 

you're fading from my view;

I realize all I've wanted, 

ever needed, love, was you. 

Read All About It

I'm afraid to let you see 

that I 

am only ever going to be 

a work of fiction. 

And all I wanted was to be 

somebody's favorite story:  

pages dog-eared and coffee-stained, 

highlighted and rough with dried tears. 

All I wanted was to be 

someone's happily ever after, 

written words whispered into wind, 

a mantra against loneliness.

But darling, 

I am only a work of fiction,

poorly written fiction,

and I do not blame you 

for putting me back onto the shelf.

A New Medium

Beautiful is a color, 

my love, 

and your soul 

is every shade.

You are the Un-

Unsigned blank birthday cards, 

unwritten wishes.

Unsaid I love yous and 

ungiven kisses.

Unsung sweet melodies, feet 

unmoved in dance.

Ungambled stakes stay low, 

untake the chance.

Uneaten dinners on 

unoccupied tables.

Unwhispered secrets, 

untold Aesop's fables.

Unlived fond memories, 

unpurchased gifts.

Unfought old battles, and 

unpatched deep rifts. 

How Do You Feel?

Mad town, a mad season, mad about you,

Searching past gray skies to find all the blue,

Anxious to start but with nothing to do,

     That's how I feel; he's not here.

Itching a scratch that refusing to fade,

Perfecting my art, and forgetting the grade,

Longing for sunshine, I've lived in the shade,

     That's how I feel; he's not here.

Drumming his name with each heartbeat and step,

Breathing his scent with my raggedy breath,

Aching to hold him, his weight and his breadth, 

      That's how I feel; he's not here. 

The Conversation

I told you:

Even the sun needs to set

so the moon can see 

her own reflection.

I am growing weary 

of feeling adrift in this life, 

my love, 

the darkness is too thick 

and my soul has grown 

so dry. 

You told me:

The stars don't leave the sky,

you just forget that they are there 

each morning.

The river will always make its way 

to the ocean,

and darling, 

through thickest forest 

or driest desert,

I will always find my way 

back to you. 

I'll Let You Tend the Rabbits

Like Lennie,

sometimes I love 

too violently,

crushing you 

under the weight 

of my heavy handed 

affection. 

Once Upon a Dream

Dreams never stay in the dark,

like they ought to, 

they push their way into the light. 

Waking means seeing dreams fade 

but still linger, 

as morning breaks slowly from night.

Dreams never last quite as long

as we'd like them,

they leave us still aching for more.

Waking means seeing 

with painful new clarity,

the reality life has in store. 

The Swim

Sure, she was drowning:

swimming after a ship that

had already sailed. 

Look! A Sword!

Follow your heart into battle, 

and do not fear the war: 

scars will be the proof 

of your survival. 

Do not look for a knight, 

to save you

my darling, 

look for a sword

and victory will be yours. 

Unnamed Colors

You are light that defies 

the vast darkness of galaxies, 

the unnamed colors hiding 

behind the known rainbow. 

How lonely the universe would be 

without the echo of your footsteps. 

How thankful I am that I 

will never know that despair. 

The Voice Lesson

My darling, 

do not let the 

exclamation 

in your name 

curl itself into a 

question mark. 

Do not, even once, 

allow your voice 

to lilt up when 

you give an answer. 

You have wisdom 

under your tongue 

and humor 

wrapped around 

each tooth. 

Do not throw 

these gifts away 

so easily. 

Hold onto 

every word. 

Wrap your hands 

around each sentence 

like a lifeline, 

your song is beautiful 

in every octave. 

One, Two, Three, Forever

I fell in love with you-

Once-

     In the middle of a parking lot, 

     with a garbage bag in your hand 

     and sweat pooling on the small of my back.

I fell in love with you-

Twice-

     In the midnight darkness, 

     our faces aglow with the light of DVD menus 

     and hope that this was the beginning of our story.

I fell in love with you-

A Third Time-

     As we sang in perfect harmony, 

     our hearts and voices so different 

     and yet beautifully aligned.

I fell in love with you-

A Fourth Time-

     While you held our child, 

     pacing the house with fervent footsteps, 

     promising her the same moon you had given me.

I fall in love with you-

Daily-

     With every good morning kiss 

     and goodnight whisper, 

     the reassurance that you are still here.